come on over

abuffalostance.blogspot.com

we found this wonderful little gem off root five. hiked down a semi beaten path to panoramic bliss. bathed in sun, reading garden of eden. drank our freshly purchased Niagara wines. European in it's feel, a wonderful staycation.

And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?

nearly a year later, you're still spinning.
well spin, spin away limp little spider.

Spent most of the weekend cooped up in suburban staycation. Strep, flu, plague had gotten the best of us. Sunday champagne tradition was not lost. Although not entirely sold on day quill champagne spritzers. In lazy sick tradition watched Vicky Christina Barcelona (which upon it's forth viewing is still as brilliant and evoking of why my life had to change, sorry skip) Choke, and 2 days in Paris. He enjoyed it as I knew he would considering my recommendation several months before. Successfully grilled indoor last night, leaving the tasty smoky particles on our skin for sleep. Thrifted some pretty slips with bow frills for love time, and a interesting Marie Antoinette inspired painting with a lovely white antique frame. (OH! And please do try the vietnamese pancake (from saigon bangkok , an absolute delight.)

I'm looking forward to Spring, bike riding, picnics, sundresses, ridding myself of translucent skin. Spending less money and more vacationing. I can't wait for my garden, maybe a kitten, lemon ade pitchers and c. A summer move will be most satisfying. In like a lion right?

opus

perhaps this is the first formal experience of loneliness. i don't know if that is the right way to phrase it. not truly because I am scared of admittance, but i don't know if loneliness necessarily describes it. i know what i do not feel. i don't feel empty. i don't feel terribly angry. i don't feel sad, well not very sad. it's just this tiny itching feeling. this little uneasy ball of muscles, wax, knot, that sorts of lays inside me. i do not always feel this, actually maybe i DO always feel this. i guess i cannot really tell. all i can describe it by is, well, say you have a tickle in your throat. and you think if you swallow, have a drink of water, drink a cup of tea, or some more water, it will dissipate. it doesn't. so you give up on all those other distractions, but you keep swallowing, you keep trying to get some sort of saliva, something to ease the nagging itch, the scratch.
you know in time it will heal, or you will just abandon your cold all together, perhaps even abandon your own infected throat. that's the only adequate description i have. maybe it's a heaviness of the heart. maybe it's all of this and some or less.

i imagine my keyboard is a piano key. and every stroke of my fingers brings a delightful noise, noise that so freely flows it becomes a melody, it starts of darling and ends in ghosts.

I'm as giddy as a teenage girl. The corners of my lips hurt from smiling so much. I don't know who I've become, life is whimsical. Today I am Alice, I am my other half. We are so closely intertwined my smile carries over. Elated, lurve, it really is wonderland.